Plain talk
Safer Sex and STI Testing: Know Exactly What to Do
Condoms, a split condom, testing and where to go, from the NHS and the CDC.
Talk about protection before you meet, use condoms correctly every time and test for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) when you have new partners. If a condom splits, act fast: the NHS and the CDC both say HIV PEP must start within 72 hours, and the NHS gives emergency contraception windows of 3 to 5 days.
How to bring up protection before you meet
Brook says to raise condoms early. It suggests asking plainly whether they use them, or saying that you will.
The CDC says that before sex with a new partner you should talk about sexual and drug-use history and HIV status, and consider testing together. Need the words? Read how to ask for no strings attached.
What counts as consent?
Agreed by choice
In England and Wales, the law says you consent if you agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
Yours to withdraw
The NHS says consent can be withdrawn at any time, so a yes earlier does not bind anyone later.
Not when intoxicated
The NHS says being intoxicated is not consent, and the US Office on Women's Health says the same of anyone drunk, drugged or high.
Which condom habits matter most?
The NHS says condoms used correctly every time are up to 98% effective against pregnancy, and that using one every time is the best way to protect against HIV and other STIs.
Do
- Use one correctly every time, not just some of the time.
- Use water-based or silicone-based lubricant with latex condoms, as the NHS advises.
Skip
- Oil-based lubricant with latex condoms. The NHS says never to use it.
- Treating any condom as absolute protection. The CDC says none gives it.
Know the limits: the CDC says condoms protect less against infections spread through sores or skin contact, such as HPV, genital herpes and syphilis, and that none gives absolute protection.
What to do if a condom splits or slips
In the UK, the NHS says to get urgent help from a pharmacist, sexual health clinic, NHS 111 or a GP. Emergency contraception and HIV PEP both have deadlines.
| UK: the NHS | US: the CDC | |
|---|---|---|
| Emergency contraception | IUD within 5 days (120 hours), the most effective. Levonelle pill within 3 days (72 hours). ellaOne pill within 5 days (120 hours). | Copper IUD within 5 days. Pills as soon as possible, within 5 days. |
| PEP for HIV | Within 72 hours of possible exposure, from a sexual health clinic or A&E. | As soon as possible, within 72 hours, from a doctor, emergency room or urgent care. |
Not STI protection: the CDC says emergency contraception does not protect against STIs or HIV.
Testing
Where to get tested, and when
In the UK
The NHS says sexual health clinics are at no charge and confidential. You usually need no GP referral or appointment, but contact the clinic first, and you need not give your real name. Some clinics offer home kits for some STIs.
The NHS says to go if you think you have an STI, a partner has symptoms, you are worried after sex without a condom, or you are having sex with new partners.
In the USA
The CDC lists who should be screened.
- HIV
- Everyone aged 13 to 64 at least once. After that, at least yearly when there has been more than one partner since your last test, or sex with someone whose history you do not know, among other reasons.
- Chlamydia and gonorrhoea
- Every year for sexually active women under 25, and for some older women, such as those with new or multiple partners.
- Syphilis
- Most sexually active adults, depending on where they live.
- Gay and bisexual men
- Including other men who have sex with men: chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis at least yearly, every 3 to 6 months with multiple or anonymous partners.
The CDC's GetTested tool finds fast, confidential testing at no or low cost, including self-collection kits.
How soon after sex will a test show something?
The NHS says a test can miss an infection for up to 7 weeks after unprotected sex, so with no symptoms it is best to wait 7 weeks. Windows for each infection differ by service: for HIV, NHS inform in Scotland says 45 days and the Terrence Higgins Trust says 90 days for self-tests. A test taken too soon may not show an infection yet, so ask a clinic when to test.
PrEP and vaccines in the UK
- For HIV prevention, the NHS says PrEP is available at no charge from NHS sexual health clinics.
- The NHS offers the HPV vaccine to some groups, depending on age and circumstances.
- The NHS recommends the hepatitis B vaccine for higher-risk groups, including people who change sexual partners often. Ask a sexual health clinic or GP about both.
Meeting someone from the site
Meeting for no strings sex? A profile cannot tell you someone's sexual health, so the conversation and the testing stay with you. Agree what you want using our no strings attached rules, and use the safety page for blocking and reporting. The services above are for the UK and the USA.
Safer sex questions, answered
What should I do if a condom breaks?
The NHS says to get urgent help from a pharmacist, sexual health clinic, NHS 111 or a GP, as you may need emergency contraception or an STI test. The NHS and the CDC both say HIV PEP must start within 72 hours, and the CDC says emergency contraception does not protect against STIs or HIV.
How often should I get tested with casual partners?
The NHS lists having sex with new partners as a reason to go to a clinic. In the USA, the CDC says an HIV test is due at least yearly once there has been more than one partner since your last one.
Where can I get tested for STIs?
The NHS says sexual health clinics in the UK test at no charge and in confidence, usually with no GP referral, and some clinics offer home kits. In the USA, the CDC's GetTested tool finds fast, confidential testing at no or low cost, including self-collection kits.
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